18 October 2006 @ 11:21:00 PM
im feeling like shiet. im pms-ing every single dae. and im hating it. i can be laughing this sec and screwing up the nxt. wad the fuck man. i hate it i hate it i hate it!! is it just another sense of belonging and no longer love. i dont wan this kinda thing to happen again. i wan us to be back like how we were. i wanna have the strong feelings i once had for u. but its slipping away. further and further. i hate u in the face. but i miss u while looking at ur photos. wad on earth does this actually mean. can some psychiatric pls answer me. fill in my blanks pls. ive started working this week. i have like less than 5 hrs slp a dae. all i see is numbers and numbers. im so darn disturbed with the life im having now. i used to enjoy life so much in the past. slacking every single day. waking up at 6pm. thinking where to hangout for the night. now.. hah! im waking up at like 7am to rush out for a tiring day. might just be me thinking too much. but when u used to be by my side 24/7. i seem to have that lil sumthing over u.. but now its gone. vanished in the air. im so broke now.. i hate the poor days. when i'll have problem digging money for cigarettes. having to choose the lower budget food. gotta walk pass a shirt which i seriously wanna take a look at. sucks to the core. im like highly in debt now. totally deficit. end of wk is coming. pay's gonna roll in soon. but somehow all that strikes my mind is how to clear my debts. screw this.. if only i could have everything the way i wanted.. money.. love.. work.. life.. all in control.. smooth as it goes. sigh.. thats the dream of my life.

04 October 2006 @ 11:03:00 PM
darn.. im back to the sickish old mua.. sick of life.. sick in the brain.. sick in the ass.. wadeva. im getting tired of everything once again. since the day i was born.. it was just a total mistake i guess. screw it man. u dun get things which u want. but things which u dont want just keep coming.. this is the freaking shiet u get in life.. u'll always be controlled. always be held back by something.. someone.. i wanna be a child again. not knowing bout wads going on round u. no worries.. those were the days.. its just so ironic.. everything is.. when i didnt have u. i wanted to. when i had u.. i wanted to enjoy the days with u.. when i had u long enough.. im just afraid i'll get sick of u.. and kindly guess which stage im at now =) im sick of everything. im just simply sick aint i. lol. but somehow i just love the way i am. how often do u come across someone who can irritate u to the max. turn u off just right away. thats wad im made of. thats wad made me myself.. may.