hmmm. just dota finish. woot! still miss my best score. 17-1 T_T todae's kinda tiring man. woke up kinda late bout 3. he was hungry and nobodie home. was realli worried. rushed out and bought food. took a cab and rushed over.. bought my bauer5000 recently. like finally man. its good. =) many things had been sorting out one after another recently. kinda chill nowadaze. theres only one thing up in my mind now. him.. im so confused and troubled by it.. i seriousli dunno wad to do man. finally stop drinking already.. kinda difficult to slp but still.. i also dun wish my friends to get upset. wondering wad shud i do this saturdae.. my ahdear nt skating. rawr! guess my bringing my beloved meimei go town shopping. wanna buy her a necklace. she loves butterfly. hmm shes the one and only mei that i really dote on. and she lurves me toosh! haha. ok im kinda thick skinned there. lol. gonna go on shopping spree this sun and mon again. hmm todae the third mondelling agency approached me. muahaha. jerry models.. most likely im going to go for a course at shine models and be a freelance model there. well.. so indecisive bout tml man. jj aked me to go swimming. lolx. im so shy~ and im so lazie to bathe outside!! eek! still got class tml nite.. gonna be so darn shag.
"Loving You by Minnie Riperton" Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful, making love with you is all I wanna do. Loving you is more then just a dream come true, and everything that I do is out of loving you. la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la... do do do doo ohhhhhhhh No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring. Stay with me while we grow old and we will live each day in the springtime. 'Cause loving you has made my life so beautiful, and everyday of my life is filled with loving you. Loving you, I see your soul come shining through, and everytime that we, oohh.. I'm more in love with you. la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la... do do do doo ohhhhhhhh No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring, Stay with me while we grow old and we will live each day in the springtime. 'Cause loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful, and every day of my life is filled with loving you. Loving you, I see your soul come shining through, and everytime that we, oohh.. I'm more in love with you. la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la la, do do do doo... oohhhhh...

rawr. back from skating not long. my part time ahdear was so shocked. lol. todae's like my family dae. he called me at 6+ askin me to skate with him. i was like oh ok. see ya there kinda thing. haha. well.. my life has been suckin dae by dae since that very dae.. 200405... but yea i seriously have to get over that particular fella. since it seems like he already gotten over it. why am i still hanging on thinking that there'll be hope or wad so eva. i'll just let my heart drop dead. been drinking too much these few daes. liver's gonna burn soon. haha. friends are important. really important manz. when im down.. people around me are like so caring and showering me with questions and concern.. looking at me with those curious eyes.. people.. i really appreciate every single thing u guys are doing for me. ytd. sat. tears were rolling back and forth my lower eyelid. that feeling sucks. when ay saw the state i was in. he stretched out his arms and gave me a big warm hug. thanks =) it ensured me that they were around whenever i need them.. im feeling kinda emo these daes. but im sure and promised myself that i will get over all this bullshit and freshen up by nxt wk. planning to get a new phone.. most likely getting samsung d500c. hmm. wondering if should play hockey. kinda interested and hoping that i can improve my skating further. but not sure if i have the time to cope with everything. guess i'll just d.i.y. lol. train myself up.. surprisingly i was able to do right inner todae. haha. guess that blow really had me going bonkers and gutsy. confirm opening a chalet for my bdae aight. but strictly only for the dawgs. lolx. special invitation will be given =P hopefully it will be an enjoyable bdae.

everything's getting from bad to worse. feel like screaming my lungs out. or just sit right beneath a swimming pool where its so peaceful. why did things turn out like that.. im feeling very locked up. very confused. very horrid. so? im alone. i will walk alone. theres just so many locks in my heart. and their piling up every single min. im empty. im lonely. but i dun care. i dun wanna! im feeling so down now. but no one will see it. im here in ma room sipping on ma absolut.. hoping that after tonite it'll be all gone.. all over.. knowing it wunt. how silly can i be. i will be the same old me. dao.. attitude.. ignorant.. fcuked. im sick and tired... like totally.. well fuck it. fuck everything. i give up. tired of trying. too worn out to do anithing. gonna release maself tml. emotionally unstable. screwed up life.. wadeva.. thats me. this song is just so how i feel...
"Going Crazy by Natalie" Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold my life just hasn't been the same oh baby no when i looked into your eyes the moment that i let you go i just broke down baby if i ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrafice Cuz the feelin that I feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right its nice to smile when i get your phone call at night But I rather have you here with me right next to me and I miss the way you hold me tight I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch I never thought that i could ever love a man so much I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny For you I'd cross the world for you I'd do anything That's right baby Im goin crazy I need to be your lady I been thinkin lately that you and me yes we can make it just ride with me roll with me Im in love with you (baby) Thats right baby Im goin crazy I need to be your lady I been thinkin lately that you and me yes we can make it just ride with me roll with me Im in love with you (baby) break it down then I'll tell you what i feel from the moment that i met you its been so damn real my heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak Can't belive I feel so weak tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me and you love me I'm your lady I'll be around waitin for you put it down be the woman for you im fallin so deep for you crazy over you im callin callin out to you what am i gonna do? its true no frontin it's u ain't no other I can no longer go on without you I just break down (down) I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch I never thought that i could ever love a man so much I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny For you I'd cross the world for you I'd do anything Thats right baby Im goin crazy I need to be your lady I been thinkin lately that you and me, yes we can make it just ride with me roll with me Im in love with you (baby) Thats right baby Im goin crazy I need to be your lady I been thinkin lately that you and me, yes we can make it just ride with me roll with me Im in love with you (baby) ooo, crazy,(ooo), lady (ooo), lately (ooo) Baby...

life is a total bitch now. and im bitching bout it. and im a bitch myself. wadeva! fuck this shit just the wae it is. dunno wad im crapping bout. but yea. fcuk it! my mood is lower than the ground. sinking lower. beneath the sea.. this is shiet... total bull shiet. i just cant understand him. i cant! wtf. i never failed to understand someone when i want to. i wanna understand him but his senses are just shut. the doors are closed and i cant see anithing from his eyes.. actions.. anithing. i just dunno shiet. im like a total useless piece of junk. everything is just so fcuked up now i swear. the fucking bauer5000 seller dua me ytd. and i dun hear anithing from him since then. dun wanna sell at least tell me man. fuckin idiot. hope u die slow and pain. im just so emotional. so pissed. the hatred and anger in me is piling up every second. the only happiest thing is thinking bout the chalet. and sumthing is goin darn fuckin wrong. i guess i'll just be going back to my dao self. dao skater. dao life. dao mood. dao everything! im just lock myself here in my empty room. living an empty life. fine. i'll just do that. went skating todae and it sucked! sucked bad. there aint any flawless spots on my leg animore. its all filled with scars and bruises now. but who the fuck cares. no one. im all alone. and i'll live on with it. i do not need anibodie. i do not want anithing. i just wan myself. i love myself. im so obsessed with myself. i just wanna be isolated on an island where no one noes me. and live my peaceful life. i just feel like migrating. feel like leaving this place. least i'll be able to be away from all that memories and just cut off all contacts.
"Shut Up by Simple Plan" There you go You're always so right It's all a big show It's all about you You think you know What everyone needs You always take time To criticize me It seems like everyday I make mistakes I just can't get it right It's like I'm the one You love to hate But not today So shut up, shut up, shut up Don't wanna hear it Get out, get out, get out Get out of my way Step up, step up, step up You'll never stop me Nothing you say today Is gonna bring me down There you go You never ask why It's all a big lie Whatever you do You think you're special But I know and I know and I know and we know That you're not You're always here to point out my mistakes And shove them in my face It's like I'm the one You love to hate But not today So shut up, shut up, shut up Don't wanna hear it Get out, get out, get out Get out of my way Step up, step up, step up You'll never stop me Nothing you say today Is gonna bring me down (shut up, shut up, shut up) Is gonna bring me down (shut up, shut up, shut up) You'll never bring me down Don't tell me who I should be (Don't tell me who I should be) And don't try to tell me what's right for me Don't tell me what I should do I don't wanna waste my time I'll watch you fade away So shut up, shut up, shut up Don't wanna hear it Get out, get out, get out Get out of my way Step up, step up, step up You'll never stop me Nothing you say today Is gonna bring me down Shut up, shut up, shut up Don't wanna hear it Get out, get out, get out Get out of my way Step up, step up, step up You'll never stop me Nothing you sayIs gonna bring me down Bring me down (shut up, shut up, shut up) You won't bring me down Bring me down (shut up, shut up, shut up) You won't bring me down Shut up, shut up, shut up.. TALK TO MA HAND__apg*

woot. just woke up. waiting for time to fly pass then go bathe and get changed. my bauer 5000 is finally confirmed. and dammit man. gotta hold it around town later.. >.< life has been much relaxing for me after ive decided to becum single.. im extremely grateful to have zhe and jj as ma close friends. oh! and im opening a chalet for ma bdae! only da dawgs are invited. cos i seriously only wanna spend my burfdae with that group of people who helped me kicked smoking. and changed ma life. bringing in colours.. and being there when i need them. last nite at like 1plus. then did i wanna open a chalet. so i started calling each and every dawg. and guess wad. i love u guys so muchies! ringring~ hello. i opening chalet for bdae. 26-29 can come not. ok steady. cnfm ton whole thing. OMFG man. thankew guys.. i wun be alone on ma bdae!! hehe. its raining so heavily outside. and im alone in my bedroom updatin ma bloggie.. feeling so strange to be posting at this time of the dae. was crazily downloadin mp3s last nite. dl-ed like at least 50 songs. haha. planning to ask for a laptop as my bdae gift. hehe. im gonna buy a small light pretty one. =P suddenly i just cant wait till the chalet. its gonna be so much fun. wonder how their gonna make me do stupid things on ma bdae. this will be the first time i will let pple desiao me on ma bdae =P they've got that special treatment. heh. a darn nice song..
"Invisible by Clay Aiken" Whatcha doing tonight I wish I could be A fly on your wall Are you really alone Who's stealing your dreams Why can't I breathe You into my life So tell me What would it take To make you see that I'm alive If I was invisible Then I could just Watch you in your room If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight If hearts were unbreakable Then I could just tell You where I stand I would be the smartest man If I was invisible Wait, I already am Saw your face in the crowd I call out your name You don't hear a sound I keep tracing your steps Each move that you make Wish I could read What goes through your mind Oh baby Wish you could touch me With the colors of your life If I was invisible (Yeah) Then I could just Watch you in your room If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight If hearts were unbreakable Then I could just tell You where I stand I would be the smartest man If I was invisible Wait, I already am I'd make you mine tonight (Invisible) I'd make you mine tonight I reach out You don't even see me (No you don't, No you don't) Even when I scream out Baby, you don't hear me (You don'thear me) I am nothing without you Just a shadow passing through Invisible Invisible Invisible If I was invisible (Yeah) Then I could just Watch you in your room If I was invincible I'd make you mine tonight If hearts were unbreakable Then I could tell you where I stand I would be the smartest man If I was invisible If I was invisible If I was invisible Wait, I already am...

disarray. confusion. intricacy. labyrinth. tats wad imma feelin. i feel like im a total bitch slut whore wadeva! i cross my heart and promise maself that i will not let this happen again. i will not rush into things ever ever again. NEVER! ive hurt.. sumone whom i never expected to hurt. im mean. im cruel. im cold blooded. within less than 2 months and im hurting everyone around me. im so darn fcukin selfish. in a wae i just think bout maself. i wan this i wan that. yes! i dun wan things to be unfair. uve put in so much to adapt.. try.. learn.. but i did nothing. im afraid of being lonely. i needed a guy beside me at that time. i lost a 2 yrs relationship. i just needed to be loved.. cared.. wad so eva. and u were there. i tot u were the one. who could shine my life. but i never knew my feelings would be so short spanned. last nite. i lie in bed.. thinking.. who on earth can be more scary than i am. pick up. play. throw. clearcut. wtf rite? is there even anybodie out there who can be so cold blooded. seriously i dun even noe wad im blogging now. i just need to release maself while waiting for sumone. im feelin so horrid. so empty. so guilty.. prolly im just gonna give myself sumtime to cool down and stay single for awhile. loneliness.. will just be a word found in a dictionary to me soon. no effect. no feelings. no emotions. maybe i'll m.i.a awhile. just awhile. for a few daes. clear my thoughts up. isolate myself. not be heard and not hear. maybe i'll fly to hk end of this month.. i need a break from my chaotic love life. friends are alwaes the ones there when u need them. i will learn to use wadeva effort i put in love and swap it to friendship. i'll give my friends all i can.. friends of mine out there. the close ones. yes im all urs now. call me anitime u need me. msg me anitime u feel like. ask me out anitime u wanna. im just so.. LOST IN CONFUSION!
"Friends Of The Enemy by No Use For A Name" lost in confusion not knowing which way to return to the person you know this trepidation makes you take it out on someone else you forever everybody wins i don't think so what would the worst thing be if you took the wheel and you lost control no one is safe inside your safety zone don't understand but i hear what you're saying the repetition of a lonely life somebody tell me why the heart is waging war against the friends of the enemy of your mind not your opinion sounds like you learn it from a how it appears you have lost so sick of marching in your lonliness parade stay together underneath a giant tidal wave what would the worst thing be if you took the wheel and you lost control no one is safe inside your safety zone don't understand but i hear what you're saying the repetition of a lonely life somebody tell me why the heart is waging war against the friends of the enemy of your mind imatated ordinary life its when that you can't break free can you take a chance as you let it go happy without the words you'll never know no way to lose when your mimicking you're paying a no decision forbidden home no one is safe inside your safety zone don't understand but i hear what you're saying the repetition of a lonely life no one is safe inside your safety zone don't understand but i hear what you're saying the repetition of a lonely soul no one is safe inside your zone...

omg man. just cant stop shopping these daes. bought a shirt from zara. jeans from guess. and bought a shirt from ripcurl todae. lol! gonna buy the new levis jeans on sunday. wahaha. ok i sound loaded. hmmm.. been hanging round town shopping these daes. met my ghey son and my girlfriend recently. nothing's changed. just that nette's hair is now short. and babie's hair is long. lol. that is so opposite. well.. went out with zhe and my ahdear todae. ate like a babarian. lol. yoshi and auntie annes. cool man! yum~ after being with them my life changed so much. staying up at night became so fun. zhe.. jj.. cp and i will just conference and talk kok. arbo is play wc. omg~ lol. slept darn late last nite. was doing up zhe's blog. din manage to do up jj's cos those html was all screwed. oh! and todae when we went to heeren. he heard akon - lonely. lol. zhe's fav song. wad a coincidence man. this wk my schedule is so packed. gotta rush up some work by gawd noes when. and i'll be paid round 300 bucks. weds gonna skate. tues thurs fri got class. woot man! im a busy lil bitch. yeayea! my guess jeans size is 26. muahaha. cant believe it man! almost screamed my lungs out when i tried the size. hmmm actually planning to change my skates. but dunno wad skates i shud get. well. whichever it will be. first ive got to know the pricing and compare them. yawnz. guess i'll start laying my hands on my work.
"Lonely by Akon" Lonely im Mr. Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn Im so Lonely, im Mr. Lonely I have nobody, for my owwnnn Im so Lonely, Yo, this one here goes out to all my playas out there man. ya kno that got that one good girl dog thats always been there man like took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night, And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, Coulda sworn I was dreamin, For her I was feinin, So I had ta take a little ride, Back tracking on these few years, Tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, Cuz ever since my girl left me, My whole life came crashin and I'm so.... Lonely (so lonely), Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own girl). Im so lonely (so lonely) Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own girl). I'm so lonely Cant belive I had a girl like you, and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck around and stayed by my side (by my side) what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you a good girl and I had no right, I really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl im so.. Lonely (so lonely) Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own girl). Im so lonely (so lonely) Im mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own baby). Im so lonely Been all about the world ain't, neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through. Never thought the day would come, where you would get up and run, and I would be out chasing u Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint no one in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me Be so happy but now so lonely Lonely (so lonely) Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own, no). Im so lonely (so lonely) Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own girl). I'm so Lonely Never thought that id be alone (be alone) I didnt hope you'd be gone this long (gone this long) I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, (no) I want me and you to work it out, (work it out baby) I never wished that Id ever Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz I'm so... Lonely (so lonely) Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody, nobody) To call my own (to call my own, no). Im so lonely (so lonely) Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely) I have nobody (I have nobody) For my own (to call my own girl) I'm so Lonely So lonely(lonely) So lonely (so lonely) Mr. Lonely(lonely) So lonely (so lonely) So lonely (Lonely) So lonely!!! (so lonely!!!) So Lonely Mr. Lonely

okay im attached to a guy who loves me and cares for me more than anione. we share like the exact same interest. live darn close. have same thoughts. bout the same height. lol. he is so damn damn sweet to me man. i swear whenever im with him my heart will melt. hmmm i quit smoking already. for skaters. for my friends. for him. and lastly for myself. my whole life is changing. i used to be staying at home most of the time just gaming and out on saturdaes only. but now.. with tha dawgs and my fellow skaters.. im never alone animore. the dawgs are jokers. they just seem to be laughing every single min. i seriously enjoy their company. and of cos i hope they will accept me and enjoy mine too. i dun wish to show them the dao side of me. instead the friendly.. razer.. zhe.. ay.. jj.. cp.. sj.. i will prove to u guys that i aint so dao and alien like. being with derek im really happie.. and wads more im also very glad to have a whole new lot of friends who skates.. jokes around.. everything.. my life used to be monotone. now its like a rainbow. my mom and her boss likes my ahdear alot. they said we were very compatible. hmm.. missing him so much now. i cant believe i can find sucha nice guy. who actually stays in clementi. skates better than me. loves me. cares for me. hugs me whenever he can. thinks as maturely as me. thankew... thanks for appearing in my life. thanks for being my one and only. this is a song which made me cry.. the first tear i shed for him. was a tear of joy..
"amazed by lonestar" Everytime our eyes meet This feeling inside me Is almost more than I can take Baby, when you touch me I can feel how much you love me And it just blows me away I've never been this close to anyone or anything I can hear your thoughts I can see your dreams. I don't know how you do what you do I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Baby, I'm amazed by you. The smell of your skin The taste of our kiss The way you whisper in the dark Your hair all around me, baby you surround me You touch every place in my heart Oh, it feels like the first time, everytime I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes. I don't know how you do what you do I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Baby, I'm amazed by you. Every little thing that you do I'm so in love with you It just keeps getting better I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Oh, every little thing that you do Baby, I'm amazed by you...

i dun wanna care animore. im tired. really tired. i go skate. we quarrel. u go ms we quarrel. lets just live in peace. im tired of living everyday quarreling.. arguing and stuff.. i have kinda enough. i dun wanna care about where u go wad u do. and i dun wan u to tell me. best friends? not even sure about that. with the wae ure reacting to things. it doesnt seem like u'll be able to accept me as a best friend no more. went skating ytd.. was down the whole dae. hmmm rink is really my second home where people do not care wad the matter is. they just try and make me happie. i respect them alot... their like my family which i have lost since young. no one cared bothered bout me. there they do not wan to noe anithing about me. they dun wanna interfere. they just make each other happie. sound like a bunch of fools.. but nope. their nice people. somehow realised that things from a bgr can be gotten there. laughter. hugs from girls.. care. and even love.. cos we are indeed a family. i will cherish u guys. fuji ice palace and hockey skaters.. im back.