rawr. im feelin so wierd. im changin my life! lol. im becomin a geek manz. my self torturing scheme has started. from now im gonna study at least an hour each dae. on my own that is. ive really need to catch up on my work. another 9 mnths till my exams. kinda earlie to feel stressed out but darn! i am alright! just studied like 3 chapters and my brain is totally dead now. im like blabbing away.. hmm. i feel he's acting so strangely recently. he's been so hot and cold.. i wonder if its just me but i dunno. my six sense tells me tat sumfinks wrong. bz with sch recently. my schedule is like filled up! tues thurs fri all classes. okay im gonna take this blog as a toilet bowl and scream it all out!! here i go.. cant u just stay home and game with me or talk to me before i go class. if we talk ani lesser we'll have a communication breakdown man! i just need u! i just wan u! i just love u! i just miss u! i just... blah! ok enough. my emotional unstabilization is gone. feeling so much better.. its just so fucked up keeping things in the heart. cant wait till my 2 subjects finish. my higher accounting is ending on the 17th of march and my cost accounting ends on the 29th. dammit! cant wait cant wait!! then i'll only go class on fridays till the 7th april. then it'll be thurs fri! woohoo.. by then my load will be much lighter.. i hope. lol. tml still got class. gonna drop dead after that. stupid business statistics! got like at least 60+ formulas to memorize. i need a larger memory card installed in my head. aniwaes. todae sucked. well not totally but sumhow it did. had a tiff with him when i woke up. and it was bad.. its all my fault. me and my stupid brains. dunno wad im thinkin. but well im really glad to see him though. went down to je.. kfc.. then went to da rink. there was this ice hockey competition which was kinda cool. then had to go class. yawn. was damn sleepie in class todae. less than 15 pple turn up and it was damn quiet. moreover the temperature was just right for a nap. lol. but nah. i just continue scribbling the notes down. aniwaes.. u are my only one...
"Only One by Yellowcard" Broken this fragile thing nowAnd I can't, I can't pick up the piecesAnd I've thrown my words all aroundBut I can't, I can't give you a reasonI feel so broken up (so broken up)And I give up (I give up) I just want to tell you so you knowHere I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to youYou are my only oneI let go, but there's just no one that gets me like youYou are my only, my only oneMade my mistakes, let you downAnd I can't, I can't hold on for too longRan my whole life in the groundAnd I can't, I can't get up when you're goneAnd something's breaking up (breaking up)I feel like giving up (like giving up)I won't walk out until you knowHere I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to youYou are my only oneI let go, but there's just no one that gets me like youYou are my only my only oneHere I go so dishonestlyLeave a note for you my only oneAnd I know you can see right through meSo let me go and you will find someoneHere I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to youYou are my only oneI let go, but there's just no one, no one like youYou are my only, my only oneMy only oneMy only oneMy only oneYou are my only, my only one...

wooO! like finally! episode 132 of one piece is out! rawr... waited darn long. muahaha. hopefully can watch it by tml. the slots are so full in irc and the torrent links arent out yet.. zzz. oh and aniwae. that cool fella up there is roronoa zoro! he fights with 3 katanas.. er like samurai lidat. and on the right there is their pirate flag. and thats monkey d. luffy! that stupid gomu gomu strawhat boi. er gomu means rubber. hur! wondering if i should go skate tml. like feel like but dun feel like. its just so confusing. was so damn damn bored in klaz todae. was eating chips and rocking my chair back and forth. kinda forgotten i was even in a klaz. haha. wonder when will i actually start doing sum real intense revision. soon i guess. really need to start off or i'll never be able to understand wad that fucka's ranting bout. aniwae. bought this stepper excercising thing from aibi at ps. its like 138 bucks man. oh and i got dumb bells too. im sooo gonna slim down. haha. shiet manz. my keyboard's all sticky and eeky. i spilled sum hashima on it this aftanoon. now my buttons are like totally no tension. zzz. have i really lost weight? mani pple who saw me recently said so. cool! haha. but no. i wun give up i wanna lose more and more! and i wanna tan too! planning to tan with my hubby but he din really seem to like the idea that much. was thinking it would be kinda sweet to go tanning with him alone. just sit and relax under the sun and literally talk bout anithing under the sun =p dammit manz. ciggys price raised again. and wads worse is its not fixed. its just a 20% raise. which means sum places might sell 11++ sum might just sell 11+. yawn! sucks to the core. my babie's got class tml.. and im so gonna have dinner with him. cheers! haven seen him since like wad.. saturdae? thats long! im so darn luckie. thought my mp3 spoilt. but it was just totally lowbatt. changed it and was workin just fine. so dun hafta go down creative center tml. phew. hmm. bought my luggage for my hk trip already and my accomodation's settled. kinda excited to go whack the food there and shop my life off. but thinkin bout my babie just makes me homesick. oh speakin bout that i have to turn on my auto roaming manz. gotta slp soon.. see wad im gonna do tml. i'll just see wad my babie saes after he finishes school. missing him much now.. but sadly his slping. gonna push back my slpin time and stop being a nite life loser. here's one nice song by melanie c from her northern star album...
"Melanie C - Never Be The Same Again" I call you up whenever things go wrong You're always there You are my shoulder to cry on I can't believe it took me quite so long To take the forbidden step Is this something that might regret (Come on come on) Nothing ventured nothing gained (You are the one) A lonely heart that can't be tamed (Come on come on) I'm hoping that you feel the same This is something that I can't forget I thought that we would just be friends Things will never be the same again It's just the beginning, it's not the end Things will never be the same again It's not a secret anymore Now we've opened up the door Starting tonight and from now on We'll never, never be the same again Never be the same again (Come on) Now I know that we were close before I'm glad I realised I need you so much more And I don't care what every one will say It's about you and me And we'll never be the same again I though that we would just be friends (Oh yeah) Things will never be the same again Never be the same again It's just the beginnning, it's not the end (We've only just begun) Things will never be the same again It's not a secret anymore Now we've opened up the door (Opened up the door) Starting tonight and from now on We'll never, never be the same again Never be the same again
Never be the same again Night and day Black beach sand to red clay The US to UK NYC to LA From sidewalks to highways See it'll never be the same What I'm sayin' My mind frame never changed til you came and rearranged But sometimes it seems completely forbidden To discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden When there's no comptetiton And you render my condition Though improbable it's not impossible
For a love that could be unstoppable But wait a fine line's between fate and destiny Do you belive in the things that were just meant to be? When you tell me the stories of your quest for me Picturesque is the picture you paint effortlessly And as our energies mix and begin to mulitply Everyday situations they start to simplfy
So things will never be the same between you and I We intertwined our life forces and now we're unified I thought that we would just be friends Things will never be the same again It's just the beginning, it's not the end Things will never be the same again It's not a secret anymore Now we've opened up the door Starting tonight and from now on We'll never, never be the same again (Come on come on) Things will never be the same again (You are the one) Never be the same again It's not a secret anymore Never be the same again It's not a secret anymore Never be the same again Never be the same again Oh yeah Never be the same again (Come on) Never be the same again Never be the same again..

its time i blog again. been pretty stressed out this daes. life's been a total whirlwind. spinning back to where i came from. suddenly just miss sch so much todae that i wanted to take a bus and do my usual roundabout like last time. which actually means that i take 285 and stare at the sch gate while the sch bus goes straight pass it. wonder how has things in sch been going. ms solastri. ji lao shi. ah tham. ms wong. i just miss them so much. but no! i will never regret leaving sch. been out the whole dae todae and fuck! im in total ass luck. first when i was closing the gate before i leave, this lizard dropped right in front of me. ok fine. they alwaes drop dont they. nvm. while crossing the traffic light to central, i saw this dead and squished bird on the road.. omfg man. but nvm forget bout those sick shit. bidded for a zippo and an esprit bag on yahoo auctions a few daes ago and finally got it todae. both were in my letter box. its nice =) gonna slp real soon. gotta wake up freakin early tml. i wonder wads so different. before and after.. the feeling is so different. i just dunno why... had great fun todae. felt so relaxed and carefree. but shoots man. i finally watch finish 131 episodes of onepiece and now i dun have anithing to watch. darn it! my so called "dad" gave me 200 bucks for new yr. which i just got todae. his my blood father. but well not someone who i feel is fit to be called a father. going to hong kong on march 24.. just miss the food there so much*drools. haha. and like usual... heres a nice and touchy song...
"True by Ryan Cabrera"I wont talk I wont breathe I wont move till you finally see That you belong with me You might think I dont look But deep inside In the corner of my mind Im attached to you Im weak Its true Cuz im afraid to know the awnsers Do you want me too? Cuz my heart keeps falling faster I've waited all my life To cross this line To the only thing thats true So I will not hide Its time to try Anything to be with you All my life I've waited This is true You dont know what you do Everytime you walk into the room Im afraid to move Im weak Its true Im just scared to know the ending Do you see me too? Do you even know u met me? I've waited all my life to cross this line To the only thing thats true So I will not hide Its time to try anything to be with you All my life I've waited This is true I know when I go ill be on my way to you The way thats true I've waited all my life to cross this line To the only thing thats true So I will not hide Its time to try anything to be with you All my life I've waited This is true...

rawr.. bloggin cos that lil slut asked me to. well. new yr's been so darn tiring. its like dae to night shopping. and i cant believe i actually woke up at like 9.30am todae man. its like hell yeah. i only have like 4-5hrs slp. and that is soo not me. ytd i woke up at like 11am. wads with everything eating into my sleepin time! wads with me wakin up so early. but well who cares. im so gonna game later tonite. and i'll slp my dae away tml! woohoo. i just wrapped my mom's vdae pressie. got her this pen holder with a beanie pig cuddling it. and this quite big display rose. its cute.. mondae's vdae already. cant wait...

darn. just watch finish my anime. completed till episode 46 only. sobx. still got all 84 to go.. T.T hurhur. hmm. din go out todae. this yr's new yr seem to be so quiet. so dead. been home watching anime and playing maple todae. no life manz. mom's too sick to go out. hopefully she gets better tml. oh i mean later. if she does then i'll be going hong bao river and suntec walkwalk. man! i wan a fossil/swatch watch so bad. they just look so cool.. yay~ and i'll finally get to wear my new yr clothes. gonna wear my new levis jeans and shirt. weee. cant wait sia. well just had a chat with my best friend used to be.. arvyn.. glad to hear that his still alive and kickin. hmm suddenly felt that the past was swimming its wae back. we were talking bout rf.. aka radiofusion. and that reminds me of djdune. well thats julian. i just miss dj-ing so much. when i used to be djskate. haha and we had djblossom.. ashslime and all. those daes... where my amount of mp3s used to be like hell knows how mani gb. now its filled with anime. lol. gonna dl naruto after i watch finish this onepiece. not a bad show. funny one.. gonna deposit all my money tml. done with blogging. gonna go catch sum slp. zzz

hmmm. just ate a gd meal with my mom. life's a bitch then u die.. quite true.. aniwae. mr patrick lim just gave me another 200 for newyr. like wtf man! he's like darn rich. still cant really accept the fact that he gave me a total of 400 bucks fer new yr. okay and i already reach my goal of 1k by newyr. so now i gonna target 1.5k.. hopefully can reach it. this two weeks will be fuggin busy manz. my schedule is like totally full. bought all the vdae pressies already. just gotta get my babie's one. been quite awhile since i blogged about my life. well life's been a real terror. now in my mind im only aiming for money. i wanna get a job till july. least i can earn myself some cash and make gd use of myself. rather than slackin around. then in july i'll go work at my mom's office. money again.. hurhur. newaes gonna flash another nice lyrics...
"yellocard - only one" Broken this fragile thing now And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces And I've thrown my words all around But I can't, I can't give you a reason I feel so broken up (so broken up) And I give up (I give up) I just want to tell you so you know Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only, my only one Made my mistakes, let you down And I can't, I can't hold on for too long Ran my whole life in the ground And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone And something's breaking up (breaking up) I feel like giving up (like giving up) I won't walk out until you know Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do You are my only my only one Here I go so dishonestly Leave a note for you my only one And I know you can see right through me So let me go and you will find someone Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one, no one like you You are my only, my only one My only one My only one My only one You are my only, my only one...

nice song lyrics.. darn meaningful... "Dangerously In Love 2 by Beyonce" Baby I love you You are my life My happiest moments weren't complete If you weren't by my side You're my relation In connection to the sun With you next to me There's no darkness I can't overcome You are my raindrop I am the sea With you and God, who's my sunlight I bloom and grow so beautifully Baby, I'm so proud So proud to be your girl You make the confusion Go all away From this cold and messed up world I am in love with you You set me free I can't do this thing Called life without you here with me Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you I'll never leave Just keep lovin' me The way I love you loving me And I know you love me Love me for who I am Cause years before I became who I am Baby you were my man I know it ain't easy Easy loving me I appreciate the love and dedication From you to me Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child I see myself being your wife And I see my whole future in your eyes Thought of all my love for you sometimes make me wanna cry Realize all my blessings I'm grateful To have you by my side Every time I see your face My heart smiles Every time it feels so good It hurts sometimes Created in this world To love and to hold To feel To breathe To love you Dangerously in love Can't do this thing I love you , I love you, I love you I'll never leave Just keep on loving me I'm in love with you I can not do I cannot do anything without you in my life Holding me, kissing me, loving me Dangerously I love you Dangerously in love..

gawd... i just so love my blog's new look alright! haha. yawn.. gonna go slp now.

here's a nice song. a meaningful one as well..
"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"I walk a lonely roadThe only one that I have ever knownDon't know where it goesBut it's home to me and I walk aloneI walk this empty streetOn the Boulevard of Broken DreamsWhere the city sleepsand I'm the only one and I walk aloneI walk aloneI walk aloneI walk aloneI walk a...My shadow's the only one that walks beside meMy shallow heart's the only thing that's beatingSometimes I wish someone out there will find me'Til then I walk aloneAh-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ahI'm walking down the lineThat divides me somewhere in my mindOn the border lineOf the edge and where I walk aloneRead between the linesWhat's fucked up and everything's alrightCheck my vital signsTo know I'm still alive and I walk aloneI walk aloneI walk aloneI walk aloneI walk a...My shadow's the only one that walks beside meMy shallow heart's the only thing that's beatingSometimes I wish someone out there will find me'Til then I walk aloneAh-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ahAh-ah, Ah-ahI walk aloneI walk a...I walk this empty streetOn the Boulevard of Broken DreamsWhere the city sleepsAnd I'm the only one and I walk a...My shadow's the only one that walks beside meMy shallow heart's the only thing that's beatingSometimes I wish someone out there will find me'Til then I walk alone...

the best thing in life is to stand alone.. walk alone.. life... wads life.. is it really as colourful as i am below? beats me..

*sniff* sucks to be sick i swear. im so retarded. just felt like saying that.
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that
I love I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away...
is it time to stop all this pain and break away? i really dunno. confusion.. i do not wish to live in. the higher u climb the harder u fall. somethings i cant regret and shouldnt as well. friendship.. relationship. to me is just the same. just that there are certain things that isnt supposed to be done. prolly im just a bird. flying in the sky. shouldnt be tied down in a cage. i used to be. i dunno if i wanna be. but i feel i am one. im a bitch. im a slut. im a whore. im a fucked up girl. i break pple's hearts. i dunno how to treasure pple. im so heartless. loneliness is a really scary monsta to me. i dun wish to fight it. i dun wish to face it. i dun wanna let go. afraid that it will haunt me. walkin alone on the streets... im really afraid of. i need someone to be there for me. but is it really u? can u? will u? do u have wad it takes to become my guy? my love? my other half? u might not be afraid of the lil word lonely. but i am.. very.. extremely.. yet im so contradicting. i wanna break away. i need a life. can anione give me a life? i do not own one. i might not be worthy to have one. but i really do want one. i am simple yet complicated. a cake is a simple dish. but yet its complicated to make it. i do not wish to hurt anyone. im selfish.. im mean.. i thought everything i did was the right thing. but i was wrong.. someone who can game with me. talk to me. go out with me. is difficult to find. real difficult. i was banished from my circle of friends. im all alone. time can wipe away all the tears. is it true? dunno.. its time we study. no one noes wad will happen in the future. one leaf for hope. one leaf for luck. one leaf for love. one leaf for faith. i believe in destiny.. fate.. love.. and i have to stop dreaming. i have to.. wake up..